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Old 07-24-2007, 12:30 AM   #1
Angela67
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My ex husband has been telling our 12 year old son for the last two years that he wants him to come live with him. Now that he has finished his schooling, has his house built and is remarried, he wants him. My son is torn between leaving me alone and living with his Dad. Do I let him go?
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Old 07-24-2007, 01:11 AM   #2
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Your stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

This is something to talk to your son about. How much time has he spent with his dad? How close are they bonded, can he talk to his dad about whatever he wants? Will his dad be a good influence on him and really take care of him?

Only you really know the answers to these questions, so it is hard to say.

Keep posting and asking questions and you will start to see the answer. Remember it is not what is best for your ex or you but your son, and at 12 you should be able to get him to think logically about this.

Hope this helps.
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Old 07-24-2007, 09:24 AM   #3
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First, I'm so sorry you're in this position.

Secondly, Dale has some great advice. The best thing to do is talk to your son and see how he feels. If he appears unsure, and if your ex lives close enough, suggest that you can do 1/2 at your house, 1/2 at the ex's...2 weeks on 2 weeks off and see how that goes. From what you said, it sounds like your son is a bright and thoughtful boy. This may be a solution for the situation as it won't make him feel he's choosing one over the other. Before suggesting to your son though, I would talk to your ex to see his thoughts/agreements.

Also, check with your state...If parents do 1/2 time visitation, no child support will be paid to either parent. And if your ex agrees to the arrangement, it's best to get it in writing from the court so no one can go back on what they agreed to.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

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Old 09-19-2007, 08:36 AM   #4
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what a tough choice and situation. Talk with your son and help him make a good choice for himself. Not for you and not for your husband. Let him decide but help him by being impartial and sticking to facts for him. In the long run, kids see us for who and what we are (I mean **** they would not be able to push our buttons if they didn't see us clearly) and he should have the chance to grow and make a hard chocie like this. Just be there and help him as much as you can
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