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Old 04-19-2011, 08:59 PM   #1
SingleMom123 Female
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Default New Stay at home single mom

Hi, I was let go from my job yesterday, so as of today I am a stay at home mom. I am not really used to it as I have been working for a year and a half, my son in daycare full time, me working full time. I have no family close by, nor really any friends.

My son is two and a half, so I was just wondering how I should spend our time? What is a typical day like for you?
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Old 04-20-2011, 09:01 PM   #2
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

I was a SAHM for a LONG time.

First, knowing that you'll be returning to work, prep some meals, or even some stuff frozen. Chicken cooked in the freezer is awesome! Use the chicken bones and crock pot them with veggies and water to make a really good stock and freeze that too (ice cube trays work good for some of it, while quart zippy bags work for the rest. Freeze things flat, it's easier to store it.

Then, find out when your library has things for kids. Story time is a great thing and helps burn some of the day.

get a new hobby. I baked, decorated cakes, scrapbooked and fed people a lot.

Maybe catch up on a baby book? do things around the house that never got done due to being too busy.
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Old 04-20-2011, 10:57 PM   #3
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Oh thank you. I will most likely be out of work for quite some time, at least six months I am planning....at least I am working it out to be that way, he he. Working was VERY hard with my son, and now that I am not working, I realize that I don't really know him. I feel like I need to go back to the daycare to ask what his favorite things to do were, which is very sad since I am his mother and should know that! But my pride is stopping me from doing that. I am going to work out a schedule, mixed with meal times, craft times, nap times, play outside times. I am sure this schedule will change more than a dozen times. Honesly, I have no idea what to do with him!!! LOL!

Today was the second day out of work, and he was difficult today, I am not sure why. I have a feeling that the change in routine will take some adjusting for both of us. I have to change my attitude from career to full time mom, he is going to have to adjust to not being around kids his own age 45 hours per week. I think the first couple of weeks here are going to be rough, but we will manage.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:51 PM   #4
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Same thing happened to me, I was laid off 1 week before my son's 1st birthday. I freaked out the first day, now i love being home with him. It is hard to adjust, for both of you! So give him time to adjust. I'm sure he is used to a schedule. Your best bet is to follow the schedule he was on at daycare (at least as far as naptime and snack, and lunch). If you don't know, call and ask.

i was lost at first but there is stuff out there. I found all different parks, libraries, barnes & noble. Mall playground. Most churches have a Mommy group, and it is for any mommy, not for the mommies at the church. (Google MOPS then put in your zip.) They usually meet 2 times a month and it is so nice to be around other moms. You do crafts, have breakfast, and time to chat about things you are going through.

Most libraries carry a free mommy paper that gives things that are going on, but you will find your days filled. I have a library day, park day, laundry day, crafts at home day, errand day.

Please let me know if you need more advice. My son turns 3 this coming week, so I've been doing it for 2 years. I am in school now but take some of the classes online so I'm still with him the majority of the time.
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Old 05-22-2011, 03:34 PM   #5
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Just curious... how do you pay bills with no lover having a job? Savings? Child support money? Unemployment?

Will cost of activities be an issue? Because there are plenty of free things out there depending on where you live. Simply going to the playground is a great way to spend a few hours and you'll inevitably meet other SAHMs. Does the parks and recreation for your city have active programs? In my city, there are a lot of programs through them I wish I could bring my kids to, but they're at 10am on Tuesdays. As someone else said, the library is great and they probably have reading times and the such... mine puts on puppet show, brings in clowns, and much more. If your son is active, maybe try The Little Gym or My Gym or Gymboree... they have fun tumbled classes. If there is a bouncy house location near you with a monthly pass, that's always fun!
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Old 05-28-2011, 10:23 AM   #6
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Similar boat here, waiting for disability decision for MS, not able to work, my daughter is 27 months and have no family and really no friends.... We go to playgrounds and parks a lot.... I try to get her around other kids, as she needs the interaction and is very attached to me. It is difficult to never have a break or privacy with a two year old in tow...if I was healthy we'd be doing a lot more fun stuff at home, like crafts and stuff.... But with my low energy level because of MS, playgrounds are the solution.... I talk to her a lot about the trees and animals and flowers, the water and the clouds....
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Old 06-01-2011, 08:25 AM   #7
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

therealone2000, the bills are getting paid for now with severance and unemployment. Well, unemployment right now, my severance pay I am keeping for when unemployment runs out, which will hapen around October, then I will have no income. I get stressed out at times because I have NO clue what will happen then, but I figure that I will just figure it out then, maybe I will have a job? Doubt it, if how my phone is so quiet is any indication.

We are getting a sort of routine. I try to do crafts and learning games, but at 2 and a half it is real hard to keep his focus for more then say 5 seconds. I have a lot of toys. We go to the park a LOT, and the library. Unfortunately, I have looked and can not find any mommy groups, but just recently I was told that on Sunday mornings the local Baptist church has a kid thing, and I am thinking that we may start going to that, even though I am not Baptist. But we spend the day going for walks, visiting the library, crafts, playdoh, park, etc.
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Old 06-01-2011, 10:49 AM   #8
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

you will most likely be able to get an extension on unemployment come october...IL has a pretty high unemployment rate...and qualifies for the extra extension i believe...
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:35 AM   #9
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Thanks for explaining your situation. I'm sure everyone's story is different and i was curious as to how you can make it throug.

Yeah, hopefully the extension is available to you. Ever looked at meetup.com? You could probably find some groups that plan activities during the day through there too. ChuckeCheese - my kids could care less about the games - they love the tunnels (free) and could play in there for hours. The church group will be great! Hopefully the participation group is large and diverse.

Don't throw away milk or egg cartons - great as craft supplies :-)

Wish you lots of luck
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Old 06-02-2011, 07:57 PM   #10
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Thank god for the unemployment help. My friend had the same thing happen to her. I can't stand people who rush to judgements.

Just try and do the most out of your time. Don't look back and realize you wasted valuable time.
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Old 06-07-2011, 12:11 AM   #11
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

okay, this is one that's right up my alley.

My girl is almost two and I have had the priviledge of being a stay at home mom. I have seen every first, know her inside and out, and am awed by her everyday.

As already mentioned, playgrounds are free and allow for lots of fresh air which helps with sleeping.

See if you have a fish hatchery in your area. We have one where they raise the fish that are then released into the waterways. There are various size fish with nice walkways and you can buy food cheap there to feed the fish.

Libraries...summer program offerings can be slim depending on the funding for the library in your area (just an fyi) so if they don't have alot, check again when school starts.

Sidewalk chalk, bubbles, balls are all cheap toys that can be taken outside. My girl has an old flower planter and loves to play in the dirt with her sand toys and make me dirt pies (notice i said dirt, not mud)

summer festivals are usually all over the place with low cost or no cost entry fees and some still have free music.

check your local zoos or animal rescues or preserves. again a cheap outside activity.

have the little one help you around the house. don't think just cause the child is two they can't or aren't interested in helping to clean. my girl loves to throw the recycling in the bucket. knows where i keep the sponges and rolls up her sleeve and helps wipe off surfaces. also can get a kid sized broom although mine prefers my big broom. also loves to throw out the garbage.

the occassional favorite dvd or tv show is a great down time helper for mom. don't be afraid to take some time for you cause little one will need some down time from all the stimulation of your undivided attention and eagerness to get to know them again.

a non-denominational church is nice as you are trying to decide what direction to pursue your religious faith. the services are usually not too early and not too late. not in standard churches (mine is in the elementary school down the street). not too clique-ish and tends to be more welcoming. they usually have a program for the little one to go to so they can still get some interaction with their peers.

remember, this little person has had their whole routine uprooted just as much as you have and it is probably difficult to transition to having no other peers to play with. opposite situation from me as I keep trying to find peers for my little one to interact with.

as far as a schedule, its great to try to have one but at this age it changes day to day, hour by hour sometimes. just try to be aware of when your little one is starting to fatigue or become overstimulated. just because the clock says its naptime or lunchtime doesn't mean that little body knows that.

pet stores are fun to visit. can be done on a rainy day and it doesn't cost anything. I do suggest staying out of the dog/cat toy aisle. kids don't know those aren't people toys and it will make your trip go south real fast...

remember since your child is under three, admission to most places is free so you only have to pay for you. bring a stroller. and lots of drinks and snacks.

science/discovery centers, historical farms, parades, floor time, climbing time, edible crafts like rice crispies or cookie decorating, singing, playing music, dancing, hide n seek, even just taking a ride in the car.

give the child choices when it comes to food and drinks. then you can learn what they like and what they don't. hold out a milk carton and a juice box and let them pick. let the child pick out a new fruit at the grocery store each week to try out. at this age they tend to change their food tastes overnight so the oranges they ate for three straight weeks suddenly go yucky and they are onto watermelon for example. I find by giving my little one a few choices she eats and drinks better and I don't end up ripping my hair out.

long baths, swimming pools, lakes, etc. water play is always a favorite. enjoy this time. I hope some of these suggestions help as I am beyond broke so I have struggled with finding ways to keep us active, entertained, and sane. You are lucky that this happened during the nice weather months. Trust me. Winter is a very long season.

Oh, as far as the job hunting. Take some time to start early. You will find it difficult for the little one to give you the time and quiet you need to get it done and the job market in some areas has really made little to no recovery. To my knowledge fed unemployment extensions are no longer available, so you would have to see if your state has an extended benefit program and the guidelines to collect are more stringent.

Most of all, don't spend too much time worrying about how you will make the rent or the utilities or the other day to day expenses. Don't put today on hold fearing the worst out of tomorrow. Easier said then done, but it really is good advice. Be thrifty with your spending but don't be afraid to do a few fun things with the little one.

as far as running errands, split them up, start days in advance, and don't plan on getting more than one or two done. I'm not sure how often you had your little one with you for grocery shopping, banking, bill paying, getting your hair cut, etc. If you've already had them in tow all the time doing that then you know what they can handle. But if you haven't, its a word from the wiser than I was before Mom. As my girl has gotten older, she is more independent, but she is also less tolerant.

The less stressed you are, the less stressed your child will be. And don't do everything for them. They are far more capable at this age then some people give them credit for.
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Old 06-07-2011, 10:44 PM   #12
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Virgo69 -that was great advice you posted.... I am a Virgo born in 69, is that what your name suggests? :-)
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Old 10-20-2011, 06:36 AM   #13
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

I am sorry to hear about your job situation, but this is perhaps a blessing in disguise as it gives you a chance to spend more time with your son. Do fun stuff together like reading to him, watching his favorite cartoon on television, preparing nice meals for him, taking him for play dates, etc. It will not only keep you occupied through the day, but also help you forge a bond with your child.

I would also suggest that even though you are not in dire need of money, try and maintain a steady stream of income by exploring some part-time work at home options while you're between jobs. It will also keep your mind active. Consider occupations like medical transcription or medical coding.
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Old 09-15-2012, 01:29 AM   #14
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

I agree this is a blessing in disguise. So many kids do not get a chance to have a stay at home mom and it can be great. I was lucky to have a stay at home mom for awhile.

It's like every day is summer vacation from school!
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Old 11-03-2012, 12:26 AM   #15
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Default Re: New Stay at home single mom

Yeah, when I was a SAHM, I did a circuit of things - library, parks, rec-centers, gymnastics (we have a place with $3 play-time for toddlers), even the bowling alley (no need to bowl, just let them cruise the arcade and the lanes for a while when it is raining), and a variety of other things..... Churches have seasonal events with free bounce-houses... I have no shame, if it is free and for kids, I GO.... Of a big field of flowers that they can pick, anything to make things fun and different. Luck to you!
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