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Old 05-13-2011, 08:24 PM   #1
willsmom Female
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Default Single StayAtHomeMom in a couples world

Hi. I am a single stay at home mom to a kindergartener. I do occasionally baby sit, but other than that, I am at home with him after school every day. His dad lives in London and I live in a suburb of Chicago. A suburb that is seemingly full of smug married couples!
Every event in my area or at Will's school seems to be for couples. I hear about dinner parties at pick up and drop off that I am not included in, even the ones for the schools "new families". I asked a friend about this and she said, very kindly, that people don't know what to "do" with a single parent (I guess I forgot to mention that the school is Catholic).
I am feeling so lonely and left out! I have invited a few of the moms over for coffee or wine, but the invitation is never returned.
I know that I am tired and overwhelmed a lot, but I try and keep a "sunny disposition" but all this feeling of rejection and exclusion is starting to turn into social anxiety. I found this site while looking for a single parent support group in my area, but I couldn't find any.
I feel like I am the only single parent in the world even though I know that is so far from true.
I crave adult conversation! I don't know what to do. I guess I need to find new friends, but don't know where to start. Help!!!
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Old 05-13-2011, 08:38 PM   #2
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Default Re: Single StayAtHomeMom in a couples wo

Hello and welcome.

You are among friends and people who get it here. Preschool, kindergarten, and early elementary school were the hardest years. Unfortunately over the years more parents became single and that made my child feel less different.

For adult conversation for you, how about doing some volunteer work while he is in school? It will get you around other adults and help you find new friendships.
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Old 05-13-2011, 09:17 PM   #3
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Default Re: Single StayAtHomeMom in a couples wo

Welcome to SFV ! Guess it's just how society is these days, but seems odd to hear of a community filled with couples, even for a Catholic school neighborhood. I think you'll find there are many of us with similar struggles, for a variety of reasons, finding ways to connect or get out there. Mine has a lot to do with working 2nd shift, kids on wknd, etc. But you've come to the right place for single parent support, nope you are far from the only one out there ! What suburb are you in ? Some Illinois folks treat Kenosha like a Chicago suburb, but we Wisconsinites don't take that very well !
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Old 05-13-2011, 09:33 PM   #4
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Default Re: Single StayAtHomeMom in a couples wo

Hello Wisconsinite, I live in Wilmette, its not far from Wisconsin at all, I actually had lunch with my cousin in Lake Geneva last Wednesday. Only an hour away...
Thanks for your encouragement.
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Old 05-13-2011, 11:43 PM   #5
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Default Re: Single StayAtHomeMom in a couples wo

Hey there- Welcome! No words of advice from me; I have trouble making friends regardless of amongst married couples, single people, and whether I'm married or single, but did want to say welcome and I hope you're able to find the adult companionship soon!
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Old 06-02-2011, 05:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: Single StayAtHomeMom in a couples wo

Hi there, I am not a single sahm but I am a single mom without any support local. I am sorry they are treating you this way. Just goes to show how some religious folks can act in the complete oposite on how their religon encourages them to act.

I just joined Parents without Parnters. They are a nationwide organization so you might have one near you. Google it and you should be directed to their national home page. I really like them because they have kid friendly events and grown up only events.

I was stupid enough to center my whole life around my husband and kids so I had no friends. I just joined last saturday but the women there were really nice and we are planning to go to the park this weekend together with our kids.

Good luck to you!
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Old 07-30-2011, 07:37 PM   #7
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Default Re: Single StayAtHomeMom in a couples wo

HI
You are not alone!! ( this is my first post to this site btw..)
I am home with a 3yr old and a 5mos old and I run a home day care! When I go out to the park or anything really, wives cling to their husbands, I don't get invited to neighbours bbqs ( for couples) or most things like that too. When I have to to "mom" things, I'm often sitting alone while most others have a partner at their side. It's definitely isolating and lonely. I've tried to go out at the end of the day, but I'm too exhausted! All I want to do is get some sleep!
But, I am working on getting sitters to come over while I'm home so that I can get some things done,, but it's not easy. So I empathsise with you. Hopefully this site will give me some jewels of ideas to try. Hugs to you!
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