Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey Question for SAHM's or former SAHM's - Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices
All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
         


Go Back   Single Parents Forum: Single Family Voices >
(``'·.¸(``'·.¸ Single Parenting - Issues ¸.·'´´)¸.·'´´)
> Stay @ Home Single Parents


~ Donate Today ~ PLEASE
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-03-2010, 05:28 PM   #1
MindShift Female
Board Member
 
MindShift's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 35
Rep Power: 87
MindShift has a spectacular aura about
Default Question for SAHM's or former SAHM's

When your husband walked out on you and your family, obviously you were financially dependent on him. How did you protect yourself and ensure financial support for yourself during the separation period? Separation agreements aren't court ordered, so I feel like he won't see that as something he *has* to do.

I will be going through CSS to have his wages garnished for child support, but I am very unsure on how to solidify spousal support during our required separation window.

Thoughts? What was your experience like?

TIA
MindShift is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2010, 05:34 PM   #2
Re-Mom Female
Mainiac

 
Re-Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Maine
Posts: 6,225
Rep Power: 318
Re-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Question for SAHM's or former SAHM's

Basically I threatened him with the fact that he had equity in that home we lived in and I was NOT capable of paying the mortgage... if he ever wanted to see his 70K than he should pay the $1,600 mortgage payment BUT, my ex is a follower when it comes to ideas, opinions... so he did it, barely and kind of, but did it. Plus, his name was first on the mortgage and I explained that if I walked away from it he'd lose it. If I stayed for the sake of the kids, make it easy for him and his MOTHER to see them and kept the home, kept it heated, etc... he could get the equity someday.

Basically, I wrote up an agreement and when we finally separated officially we fixed it up and added it to that that he had a certain amount of time to buy me out (wasn't happening) or I'd sell. Sucked as I had to sell, but in the end we're in a better place now and I often think if I was still there would I still be that same person I was, ewww, I can't even fathom it. I'm a totally different person, to include my old being... soooo much stronger, independent, positive-thinker, etc. I love how it turned out (though I hate how it turned out as we are STILL under financial stress, though I've done a dang good job of keeping the home we purchased without him!
Re-Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2010, 05:48 PM   #3
MindShift Female
Board Member
 
MindShift's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 35
Rep Power: 87
MindShift has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Question for SAHM's or former SAHM's

Nice angle, Re-Mom. Nice indeed.
MindShift is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2010, 09:59 PM   #4
MotherBoard Female
Making The Magic Happen
Mother Of The Board

 
MotherBoard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Florida ::::::: GO GATORS!!!!!!!
Posts: 4,483
Rep Power: 1
MotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportMotherBoard Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Question for SAHM's or former SAHM's

that was brilliant re-mom------- kudo
__________________
I Got Just One Life, & I wont Back Down
~ Help support our server costs by purchasing an Account Upgrade ~
~ "Like" Our FaceBook Page~
https://www.facebook.com/soloParent
MotherBoard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2010, 10:43 PM   #5
Re-Mom Female
Mainiac

 
Re-Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Maine
Posts: 6,225
Rep Power: 318
Re-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of SupportRe-Mom Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Question for SAHM's or former SAHM's

Funny, at the time of it I thought I was being dumb, now I see the light. i also learned from that how easily he can be swayed and how honestly I could mess with him (feels like it anyway) to get him to do things that I needed for the kids. It doesn't work much anymore, though sometimes I can still pull it off. Had a good 6-7 yr run of figuring out the right angle with him though... Honestly, I was causing him to have MIND SHIFTS!

I think it is a basic survival skill though, as a mom, it was a matter of getting what I felt was the best option for my kids.
Re-Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-04-2010, 01:04 AM   #6
calooa Female
Finding my way

 
calooa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Northwest
Posts: 1,494
Rep Power: 151
calooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Supportcalooa Has a SFV Diamond Heart of Support
Default Re: Question for SAHM's or former SAHM's

I am not sure what state you are in Mind Shifts, but in Montana where I am from, legal separation do exist. I just today went to court to have mine approved. Once entered into, there is a 6 month waiting period before it can be converted to a divorce. Like Re-Mom, I was able to secure the mortgage payment and also a substantial amount of child support until both of my kids are in school full time (in 2 yrs). At that time, we will figure out the property settlement, even though we will be divorced probably sometime next summer.

My suggestion is that you find out if your state allows legal separations that are enforceable by the court because if they do, get one!!!
calooa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Resources: youngrobin.com
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question blondiemcblondester Domestic Violence 2 05-20-2008 10:19 PM
straight up question for the women(relationship question) duane Dating & Relationships 19 11-19-2004 12:30 AM
just a question..... ConceteAngel Teen Mothers 6 03-29-2004 03:35 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:50 AM.

Some parent places to visit:
A Single Parents
Parent Arium
Solo Parents
Single Parent Personal Ads



Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SoloParent
Go Like Us On Facebook = facebook.com/SingleParentsInformation
Powered by vbulletin

All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!

A Community for single parents, step parents and blended families

Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.