In the South..

[LilMamma]

My son's dad is White & I am White w/ Indian. I am pregnant again and the father is African American & Korean. Most of my family is from the South & believe in Interracial couples. My dad is very.. I wouldn't just say racist but he is very opinionated when it comes to that subject. A lot of my friends have BiRacial babies and he would always make comments like they have been tainted & stuff like that. He says alot of other really racist things that I don't want my Biracial child to grow up hearing. So.... He doesn't even know I'm pregnant yet I just don't know how to go about telling him or handling the situation at all. My mom knows and she is fine with it she just knows none of my family is going to like it to much.

I don't care what they think I just want my child to grow up the best way possible & don't want him/her to have to deal with family being funny with them just because of his/her race. I just want to do what is best for this child & if that means cutting off everyone who isn't going to be in his/her life then that's what I'm gonna do.

Another thing,
In Mississippi when you have a Biracial baby they make you mark either black or white on the Birth Certificate. This really bothers me because my baby will not be just White, just Black, just Indian or just Korean. Is it like this everywhere or just here?

[Dad1st4boys]

Welcome. The sooner we can just list skin tone as a descriptor, like hair and eyes, the sooner we can move on. The child is a child.
You might look into state listed options, like Other... Human.

[LilMamma]

Well I wish it was that easy to change things & the way people are raised but it's not. People are still being raised to be that way & it may never change. Some places here still have segregated proms for schools & other stuff like that. I know my child is a child and all that doesn't matter & what box is checked doesn't matter but he/she shouldn't have to be classified as what they think he/she should be. It hurts to know my child will grow up in a world like this. I mainly would like to know is there any other states where my children might be happier growing up or is this problem just as bad everywhere else?

[LSL]

I am in law school, and have taken lots of civil rights classes....I forget that there are states where you still have to mark on box or another............Wow. We dont' have that in the Northwest.

I feel for you. When I was growing up, my father told me more times than not, that if I dated a black man, he would disown me. I am so happy to say that he outgrew that. My sister recently had a biracial baby.....she is gorgeous......

When babies enter the fray, grandpas do funny things. I would at least give him 1 chance not to do something STUPID. While they are babies, there is really not much that can be done verbally that will be too detrimental. However, if your dad isn't in love with your baby, and turning his attitude, then I would keep the baby away from him.

Finally, the checking of the box is symptamatic of not only racism, but another deeper problem....for some reason our society forces biracial children to identify with only on side of their cultural heritage. The child has to either identify with the white kids, and white family, or the black kids, and the black family..........yet they are a mixture of both.

And, I have heard many, many stories of black families shunning half-white children too.........it goes both ways....and makes me incredibly sad.

[Bubba'sDad]

Sad fact is that mixed race kids are born with a stigma. Society, as a whole, will never accept it. At least not until everyone stops being a XXXXXX-American.

[Bluemoon]

Originally Posted by LSL

I feel for you. When I was growing up, my father told me more times than not, that if I dated a black man, he would disown me.
When babies enter the fray, grandpas do funny things. I would at least give him 1 chance not to do something STUPID. While they are babies, there is really not much that can be done verbally that will be too detrimental. However, if your dad isn't in love with your baby, and turning his attitude, then I would keep the baby away from him.

This is pretty much what I was going to say...good post, LSL!

[idig]

I live in the south too. Right here in my little community racism isn't so bad. We have a large percentage of multi-racial kids relative to a lot of places in AL. However you travel just a little out of here and it tends to be a different story.

I agree with the others about your dad. As far as the effects societies opinion will have on your child, if MS is anything like AL, I would move into a suburb of a major city if you aren't already or move to a more progressive area of the country. But in the end you will teach your child how to react to prejudice by your reaction to it, I think. Whether to be hostile and angry at ignorance, or laugh at it and hold your head high.

Easy for me to say though. If I am totally honest, I would not live in rural MS or AL with a multi-racial child. I would stay where I am, in a suburb of the largest city in ALthough, it is as well accepted here as I perceive it to be in others areas I have traveled.. Somebody has to keep breaking down those barriers in rural communities, but I wouldn't want it to be my child. Just being honest.

[sara1]

Am I missing something? Arent you caucasion and Indian? Why would Dad be upset if you are his daughter and you are bi-racial then why wouldnt he accept his bi=racial grandchild?

---------- Post added at 07:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:47 PM ----------

I also meant to say, Dont worry too much. Grandparents have a funny way of forgetting their prejudices when they hold a grandbaby

[LilMamma]

Thanks,
& it seems to be bad everywhere in MS. There really isn't an area I could move to in this state that would be any better than here. But I will figure out a way to deal with it I have no choice right now. & I know my dad will come around eventually, i hope, but he is going to be mad for a while. He is a good guy that is just one of his strongest beliefs. He was in & out of prison so that is why he is the way he is about the whole situation. He couldn't really be in any other "gang" because he was "light skinned" so he went with the people he could and I guess you could say that is what made him the way he is. He bases his judgment of "black people" off of what he saw in prison & won't listen when I tell him everyone is different.

& Sara: I know. My mom is white & my dad is French Canadian & Enox Indian or somethin like that. He was adopted out of Canada when he was a baby. So with that being said I don't see where he can have anything at all to say about it but I think in his eyes he is "white" but he really isn't. Anyway, I don't really know a perfect way to explain the way he believes cause I have never understood myself. I have tried since I was a little girl to tell him not to be like that. My mother didn't raise me like that. She tought me that everyone is equal & noone is better than the next person. When I was in Elementary school I was like the only white girl so she really had no choice but to make sure I didn't go to school repeating what my dad would say.

[MotherBoard]

When the baby comes, most parents come around. We are all mixed. I always wonder how far back [in ancestral linage] someone really goes to say that they are all of one race.

[Dad1st4boys]

Originally Posted by MotherBoard

When the baby comes, most parents come around. We are all mixed. I always wonder how far back [in ancestral linage] someone really goes to say that they are all of one race.

If you are a Creationist or and Darwinist both agree that we have one common ancestor. So I guess we all bleed red.

[CherryBlossomMama]

I'm very Caucasian/blinding white and my ex husband is African American with some Native American mixed in. My daughter is beautiful and has a lovely natural tan but when she's out with me I often get "Oh she's beautiful! Is she yours?" . It used to bother me a little but now I just don't care.

I understand how your feeling I come from Utah and my family is very raciest/redneck. When my parents found out I was pregnant with a black mans baby they freaked. They thought the baby would be born with spots or something. My dad was very upset especially. But once the baby was born and they met her they all fell in love. And my dad shows her pictures off to everyone and is quite proud of her and embarrassed of how he acted before. Once they hold that cute little baby in their arms I think they see past allot of problems they thought they'd have.

[Marielle]

That is so great about your dad! Proud to show her photo and embarrased about how he acted before!

I think we are the ones to educate our parents and the wider community that racism is ridiculous.

My parents are so in love with my son (me, white, dad, african), I heard that he is their favourite (tho they won't say that) out of 7 grandchildren.

When I said I was going to marry him, they were not happy, but not cos they were racist - my dad was in the dutch resistance during WWII - but because he was poor!

Rather a black doctor or lawyer, than a white labourer LOL

[Virgo69]

I'm in PA and I don't remember having to mark any box for race. Maybe I should look at our paperwork again...where does the information go from this box, is it for statistics or something? PA has some very racist areas, going both ways...I once asked one of my black coworkers why they could say Nigga all day, but if a white person said it we were racist. The coworker replied that it was a slang thing not allowed to be used by us whities...hmmmm...so its not the term that's the problem, its who says it? I think there is something wrong right there and shows some reverse racism. I agree with everyone else, grandbaby will work his/her magic on grandpop and if not, then its not worth having that toxic person around.

[justi03]

Originally Posted by CherryBlossomMama

My daughter is beautiful and has a lovely natural tan

positive side, your daughter and other biracials won't be getting skin cancer from tanning cause they are trying to look darker.

Like others said you would be amazed at how grandparents attitudes change when they see that child.

Don't you thinking moving is running away and letting these poor attitudes/views escalate. If you move these people win. Their mentality would be "good got them critters to leave!" (Pardon the terms) This only escalates the small mindedness. When I lived on the DE/PA line, my exb was Dominican. My old neighbors stopped talking to me. Found out I was labeled as the n&$^er lover of Hockessin. You find your true friends and loved ones out real fast. We held our heads high and still did all the normal things.

You might not be able to change everyones attitudes but maybe a few, to me thats a good start in getting this to stop.

Up here in the New England we don't really have that problem. Everything is so blended, you can't!! My sons school is so mixed its great. I always brought him up around all diff cultures. When it was international food day he asked me to make falafel's or pernil for his class. I was like "honey, your italian and german. ". the best was seeing the kids stand up and say "i am african/ irish/ indian", i am italian and jamacian, i am swedish/ lebanese, i am .... you get the point.

[hotpitmomma]

I stay in atlanta and yes you only have the option of white, black, hispanic, or pacific islander. I am black and my girls father is white and hispanic sooooo needless to say I need to check all boxes accept pacific islander and they coukd have that for all I know . I never thought of it being a south thing until you brought that up I thought it was a nationwide thing. I am sure father will accept the precious baby as everyone else has said.

[idig]

Everywhere I have been, which isn't a whole lot but a few other countries, there is prejudice against some group or another. I think there always will be prejudice to some extent. As long as there are cultural differences, as long there are immigrants, as long as we are human there will be some prejudice present, IMO.

Would love to have an update from the OP!

[Reese]

I'm originally from Pensacola,FL which is literally a stones throw from Alabama's border and just a few counties away from where I use to live there was a racist town rumored to have a sign hanging from a tree that forbids blacks from entering especially at night.
I am of bi-racial heritage. I'm Afro Borriquena(of African-Puerto Rican decent),Native American,Irish and My son's father is Irish and Native American. Needless to say my son has some very different characteristics. Hazel-ish eyes,Olive skin and coppery curly hair. We always get weird looks in the supermarket but I just smile. I've learned not to care what others may think or say. I'm proud to be bi racial and I hope my son will too and just hope someday people can see passed the color of one's skin. We come in different shades but Were all apart of the Human Race

[idig]

Southern Alabama towns can be interesting, still some very segregated places here for sure. But even here it is changing, slowly but surely.

It is nice to hear from an adult who is biracial, I know a lot of parents here have concerns for the challenges their kids might face. Sad they have to worry about it at all....

[ColoMomof4]

the most important eyes he/she is ever going to look into are going to be his parents.

I agree, Grandparents usually turn to mush once they are holding this sweet baby so definitelly give everyone a chance.