What Should I do?

[snoopy929]

My ex and I are not totally seeing eye to eye on a subject so I am going to see what the board thinks, since there are obviously so many wise people on here !
The first Deployment that he went through, granted we were married and only had our son. The way the Family Support Program was so involved they helped me and my son through getting through a year without his dad home! He is now looking at the possibility of going again and he doesn't understand why I would be involved in any of the activities that they do during the deployment. I tried to explain all the great things they did in the past, for the family members, he just doesn't see the point. I just want to help my children have a positive experience and possibly make new friends. So I guess my question is this....Do I get involved regardless of if he ever sees the benefits that his children main gain, or do I just back off as per her request? I know military life is a different world...so I guess I wonder which of the two would ultimately have worse consequences!
Thanks,
Dawn

[Bluemoon]

I'm kinda confused...but if Dad is active in the military and active with the kids when he can be, I can't see why he wouldn't want the kids to have ALL the benefits available to them...including the support and influence of other children with military parents.
You may not be a military wife, but the kids are still "military" kids.
Or, maybe I'm missreading the whole issue?

[idig]

I agree with Blue, don't get it....If it her, she should get over it. She took that on when she got involved with a man with kids.....

[LSL]

I was wondering the same thing...I though the Family Support Services was part of how the family copes with the other spouse being gone.....I know lots of families that use this service and are blessed for it. What is his objection? You were helped by it last time, it stands to reason you will be this time too!

[Bluemoon]

Originally Posted by idig

If it her, she should get over it.

I caught that "her request" , too, but I assumed it was a typo....

[comingup4air]

Maybe the HER request part means the ex's new woman? Maybe?

[snoopy929]

ok ok you guys caught me, I did have a typo I apologize! I am blonde though! I think he is more afraid of the image it will portray type of thing, I am not saying if they have something specifically for the spouses I would necessary attend but I am here to make the deployment easier on the children, after all. It is there dad that will be serving our country for that year, they should be involved and get the benefits! If he is worried that I am just going to talk crap about him, that is so not true, cause I have much better ways to spend my time than that!

[the.harder.i.try]

I vote for doing what is best for your son. Your ex is just being selfish.

[LSL]

I had to read again what your background situation was.....

Is this program still open to the kids considering you are no longer married, or going through a divorce? I can understand a bit how if you are going through a divorce, he might be leery to have you on the base, or around the personnel...not saying that is right, just is. Also, I understand that military bases can be a very, very tight knit community.

[snoopy929]

my husband is actually National Guard and a reservist so any of the activities would not take place on an active duty type base. In the past, they have had monthly activities to help build a support group and address needs of family members while their soldier is gone. I just think it will be better for the kids to stay involved with other children with a loved one gone. I am just surprised he is acting this way, since I always thought the military was his life. I thought he would actually request I ensure the children stay involved while he was gone...but maybe it all comes down to it was my idea so he is going to say just the opposite! I do appreciate all the thoughts from a different perspective though! You guys are AWESOME!!